Important note: This article provides general information and is not a substitute for personalised medical or mental health advice. If you are concerned about your mental wellbeing or that of someone close to you, consider speaking to an appropriately qualified healthcare or mental health professional.
Mental health is part of being human. It influences how we think, feel, cope with pressure, connect with other people and move through difficult seasons of life. Just as our physical health can change, our mental wellbeing can change too. Some days may feel manageable, while others can feel much heavier.
That is why conversations about mental health matter. When someone is struggling, being told to ‘cheer up’, ‘think positively’ or ‘get over it’ can, although unintentionally, make an already difficult experience feel even more isolating. What they may need instead is understanding, patience, and sometimes the right kind of support.
What Do We Really Mean by Mental Health?
Mental health is our emotional and psychological wellbeing and forms part of how we cope with everyday life, relationships, responsibilities, change and stress.
Everyone has mental health, and it does not stay exactly the same throughout a lifetime. Work pressure, relationships, financial worries, illness, major life changes, traumatic experiences, grief and many other circumstances can affect how we feel and function.
Having a difficult period does not automatically mean that someone has a mental health condition. It may simply mean that they are going through something that is taking more out of them than usual. What matters is recognising when things are becoming difficult and knowing that asking for help is an option.
Why You Can’t Always Just ‘Get Over It’
There are moments in life that cannot be resolved by willpower alone. Telling someone to move on may be well-intended, but emotions do not always respond to a deadline, a positive thought or a decision to feel differently.
Grief is a good example. After a loved one has passed away, there is no set point at which a person should suddenly feel like themselves again. One person may want to talk, while another becomes quieter. Some people return to their routines quickly but still carry a great deal beneath the surface. Others may find that ordinary tasks feel difficult for some time.
The same compassion is important when someone is experiencing ongoing stress, anxiety, depression, low mood, burnout or another mental health struggle. They may already be trying very hard to cope, but what looks simple from the outside can feel completely different to the person living through it.
When Something Doesn’t Feel Like You Anymore
Mental health struggles aren’t always obvious. Sometimes the first sign is simply a sense that something has changed. You may notice it in yourself, or you may notice that someone close to you seems different from the person you know.
Changes worth paying attention to can include:
• Sleeping much more or less than usual
• Withdrawing from friends, family or activities normally enjoyed
• Feeling persistently overwhelmed, low, anxious or unusually irritable
• Changes in appetite, energy or motivation
• Difficulty concentrating or managing ordinary responsibilities
• Feeling as though everyday life is becoming increasingly difficult to cope with
These signs can have many different causes and do not provide a diagnosis on their own. They are simply reasons to pay attention, particularly when changes persist or begin affecting everyday life.
You Don’t Have to Wait Until Things Become Unbearable
One of the most important things to remember is that you do not have to reach breaking point before asking for help. There is no test you need to pass before your feelings are ‘serious enough’ to deserve attention.
For some people, the first step is speaking to someone they trust. Saying ‘I’m not doing well’ can feel vulnerable, but it can also mean that you are no longer carrying everything alone. Support may also come from a doctor, counsellor, psychologist, psychiatrist or another appropriately qualified mental health professional, depending on what you are experiencing and what help you need.
If you are supporting someone else, you do not need to have the perfect words or all the answers. Listening without judgement, taking their feelings seriously and helping them connect with appropriate support can mean a great deal.
Where to Find Mental Health Support in South Africa
If you or someone close to you is struggling, reputable mental health organisations may be able to help you. The South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG), for example, provides counselling and referral services, support groups and helplines.
You can also speak to a healthcare professional about the most appropriate next step. If someone is in an urgent mental health crisis or there is an immediate concern for their safety, seek urgent assistance through an appropriate emergency or crisis service.
There Is No Single Right Way to Cope
Mental wellbeing is deeply personal, and so is grief. Some experiences change us, particularly the loss of someone we love. Healing does not always mean returning to exactly who you were before, and coping does not mean never having difficult days.
Sometimes looking after your mental health means resting. Sometimes it means talking. Sometimes it means accepting help when you would normally try to manage alone.
At Sonja Smith Elite Funeral Group, we see how differently people experience loss and bereavement. There is no timetable for grief and no single correct way to move through it. If you are finding things difficult, needing support is not a failure to cope. Sometimes, it is simply part of being human.
If you found this article useful or insightful in any way, you may want to read A Cry for Human Help, or perhaps even Slowing Down and Choosing a More Intentional Way to Live.
