We recently received this letter from someone we had the privilege of walking alongside during a very difficult time. With her kind permission, and with all names and personal details removed to respect her privacy, we share it here in the hope that it may bring comfort and encouragement to others.
Hi Michael,
When my father was diagnosed with a terminal illness, I thought I was prepared. I had known, of course, that he was getting older, and we all understood that his health was fragile. But nothing really prepares you for those words.
From that very first day, you were there. Quietly, calmly, and with a level of care I will never forget. You guided us through things I never even knew we would need to consider. You gently encouraged us to think ahead, to make decisions before the time came, and to put my father’s wishes first. Looking back, it feels as though you helped to hold us steady during a storm we didn’t know how to weather.
One of the most meaningful parts of the process for me was working through what you called his “wishes list.” I remember thinking at the time how strange it felt to sit and talk about what flowers he liked, what music he wanted, and how he imagined people saying goodbye to him one day. But it became such an important experience. It gave him a chance to have a say in how his life would be remembered, and it gave us a way to honour him fully when the time came.
I need to tell you something else too. For most of my life, I used to feel a little annoyed with my father because he was so diligent. He always wanted to plan everything in detail. Family holidays came with typed itineraries. Sunday lunches came with a shopping list and a timeline. Even conversations about our family car would include a spreadsheet or two. He was overprepared for everything, and I often teased him about it.
But now, I find myself smiling, and I think he would be too. Because it was exactly that diligence, that thoughtfulness, that became his greatest gift to us in the end.
When he passed away, everything was already in place. He had left behind his “life file”, as you called it, with every document we needed, every instruction written down, and even a few personal notes tucked between the pages. We did not have to wonder what he would have wanted. We did not have to guess about anything. It was all there, thought through, and prepared with such care.
And so I realised this was so typically him. He never wanted to be a burden to anyone. He never wanted to leave things undone or make life harder for us. Even at the end, he made sure we would be able to focus on remembering him, rather than worrying about details. That is what stays with me most now.
You helped us turn his passing into a true celebration of life. The day we gathered to honour him felt light, personal, and full of warmth. We laughed through our tears, we told stories, and we remembered him exactly the way he would have wanted. You made it possible for us to do that, and I will always be grateful.
Thank you for your patience, your quiet guidance, and for making something so difficult feel a little more bearable. Thank you for showing me just how much thought and love my father had put into planning for us. And thank you for giving us the space to say goodbye in a way that felt like him, thoughtful, prepared, and full of care.
Sincerely,
We are deeply touched by this letter and the trust placed in us during such an important time.
At Sonja Smith Elite Funeral Group, we believe that preparation can be one of the greatest gifts you leave behind for your loved ones. We are here to assist with pre-planning, life celebrations, and personalised arrangements that reflect your wishes. We also offer a free Life File template to help you organise everything in advance, should you choose to take that step.
If you would like more information or if we can assist you in any way, please do not hesitate to contact us.
