It’s not uncommon for families to be spread across provinces, countries, and even continents. South Africans are no strangers to this reality; our loved ones often live far from home, making it difficult to gather in one place when we need each other most. And if there’s one thing the COVID-19 pandemic highlighted, it’s that physical distance doesn’t have to mean emotional distance. Platforms like Zoom and Microsoft Teams have made it possible to attend funeral services remotely, offering a practical and meaningful alternative when being together in person isn’t possible.
Still, virtual funerals can sometimes feel impersonal. Without physical presence, it can be challenging to recreate the warmth and connection often felt during a traditional service. However, with some thoughtful planning, it is entirely possible to make a virtual funeral more intimate, inclusive, and comforting.
Here are a few ways to help make virtual funerals feel more personal:
Begin with a Tribute and Invite Personal Contributions
A meaningful way to start the service is with a tribute video: a montage of photos, short video clips, and written or voice messages from loved ones. Adding the person’s favourite music can add to the personal touch. If you choose to play the tribute before the service begins, let attendees know in advance so they can join early.
Live or pre-recorded contributions from close friends and family during the service can also add emotional depth. For those uncomfortable with public speaking or unable to join live, short recorded messages can still allow them to be part of the farewell. Hearing familiar voices helps bridge the emotional gap of a virtual setting.
Encourage Shared Moments and Symbolic Gestures
Incorporating simple, shared rituals can help everyone feel connected, even across distances.
Attendees could light a candle, wear the loved one’s favourite colour, or place a flower nearby during the service. A collective moment of silence is another powerful way to honour the loved one, inviting everyone to pause and reflect together, wherever they may be.
Allowing a brief open-sharing session can also be meaningful. Whether through video, audio, or typed messages in the chat, this gives people a chance to share a personal story or memory. To keep things respectful and smooth, it helps to set a few guidelines beforehand.
Offer Ongoing Ways to Remember
Following the service, you might consider creating a digital guestbook where attendees can post photos, write messages, or share memories. This could be hosted on a simple website, online form, or memorial platform. Later, these contributions can be compiled into a keepsake memory book. It can even be shared in a printable PDF format for those who prefer keeping it digitally or printing it themselves.
If you’d like to offer a tangible souvenir, consider sending printed programmes, memorial cards, or symbolic items like seed packets. These small tokens can help provide a sense of closeness and remembrance. Collecting addresses via an online form can also simplify this process.
Centralise Everything in a Tribute Website
A dedicated tribute website can be a helpful space to gather everything related to the service, from the event link and the tribute video to the guestbook and photo gallery. Over time, this space can evolve into a more permanent or printed tribute that families can return to or share with others who weren’t able to attend.
Bring People Together Where Possible
Even with a virtual service, small in-person gatherings can add comfort. Those living nearby may choose to watch the service together in a home or small venue, combining digital access with physical presence. This approach allows for shared grieving while keeping it accessible for those who are further away.
Final Thoughts
Virtual funerals may never replace the comfort of a hug or the presence of family and loved ones gathered in one place, but they do allow us to honour loved ones with sincerity and warmth, even from afar. With a few simple yet meaningful touches, these services can become personal experiences, offering connection when we need it most.
The importance of using an experienced and reputable digital service provider to provide the livestreaming and audio-visual elements cannot be emphasised enough. This should preferably not be left to well-meaning family and friends, as too many things can go wrong. Remember, you only get one chance to say farewell and you don’t want your service interrupted with technical problems.
If you are planning a funeral and want to explore meaningful ways to make it personal, whether virtual, in-person, or a combination of both, the experienced team at Sonja Smith Funeral Group is here to support you. You can also explore unique funeral options that reflect your family’s values and the life of your loved one.
If you found this article insightful, you might also find Nurturing Bonds Across Seas or How to Write a Meaningful Eulogy to Honour a Loved One’s Life
